Post by Barry Hodges on Sept 25, 2010 12:33:54 GMT
Firstly, Barry Hodges is my real name as I don't agree with hiding behind silly fake names. I am British and very proud of it and I hate people who knock Britain or any other nice country (unless they deserve it, of course, eg Zionist Israel). To be specific I am English, from the world's best city, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, so I am a Geordie. I am known far and wide as the immortal Bard of Gosforth.
I served in the British Army for nearly forty years and rose to be a Regimental Sergeant-Major and I got a VC too for my staggering cruelty to foreigners. I liked the Army life and think that all young men should be obliged to do National Service as it will make a man of them and it teaches them a bit about brutality and how to damage people terminally; or they might get killed, I suppose. I made some great friends in the Army, but a lot got of them got massacred, but that's life.
After leaving the Army I opened a greengrocer's shop in Gosforth, specialising in potatoes, giant cucumbers and lettuce; but I am now semi-retired with a 7 hectare vegetable patch and I enjoy getting drunk and watching horror films on TV; I also enjoy the porn channels, especially if they are on FreeSat and in HD so I can see what's what. Sometimes the images are so clear I can see what girls had for breakfast peeping out.
I am definitely a Conservative with a capital C (that's C as in Cunt), even though most Tory leaders nowadays are half way to being mental defectives. I don't mind our new partners the Liberal Democrats helping keep the Reds out, but they need to keep their noses clean and know who is running the show around here. May I also say that bald Hague fellow is a total waste of space - I mean to say, sharing a room with some poof is simply not on! Also he looks like a mad homunculus.
Some stupid people have called me a fascist and even a Nazi (until I gave them a good old English black eye) because I don't want a load of illegal immigrants flooding in. If people come to this country to make a better life for themselves I dont mind really, but they have to work hard, and do the filthy low-paid jobs the British are too thick or lazy to do, thanks to the lefties running the educational system these days. Anyway, where would we be without Poles to serve in Tesco? So I am a liberal fascist, strictly speaking.
Talking about Muslims, that burkha thing is a pain in the arse. I really don't see why Arab women can't show their faces. A few of them are quite good looking and I like a pretty face on a woman, even when she's bending over the kitchen table to get eight inches of hot love from me.
I am NOT racist as some of my best friends in the Army were blacks and a braver bunch of men I never met; they were totally fearless, although not hugely bright. Because of some of the things I saw in the Army I do not believe in "God" - there can't be a god if he allows things like that to happen, especially the bits with machetes, power drills and steam hammers.
Although I am from an upper working class background I had a good education (thanks to a scholarship to public school and Oxford University, which is the best in the world - you can stuff Harvard and Yale where the sun don't shine) and I do not approve of people who write bad English. It is the best language in the world and you should be proud of it. In my day, boys had to sit an exam at age 11 (the 11+) and the clever ones went to a good grammar school and the thick and gormless ones went to a secondary school where you wouldn't learn much but at least there was a bit of strict discipline and they learned their place at the bottom rung of society, scraping out toilets or licking the streets clean.
I strongly approve of corporal punishment: 100 strokes of the birch on the bare arse can be quite refreshing. A bloody good flogging would teach troublemakers a lesson they wouldn't forget in a hurry and I'd be happy enough to dole one out, as I am quite handy with a cat o' nine tails. Also, a broken nose, some shattered teeth and a kick up the rear with a pointed shoe can provide a primer in manners to a yobbo.
In my opinion, Maggie Thatcher was the best Prime Minister the UK has ever had; even though she was only a woman, she was a damn sight better than most men. She taught the filthy communists in the trade unions a lesson and now the trade unions are up faeces (or poo-poos) Creek without a paddle and a jolly good job too!
I am strongly in favour of capital punishment for murderers, rapists, traitors and paedophiles (and I'd be keen on a nasty form of it for severe cases, something with boiling oil in it, or maybe the rack followed by hanging, drawing and quartering on TV). But you need to be sure the criminals are guilty as it would be terrible to hang an innocent man (or, even worse, even a moderately good-looking woman, as that would be a waste of good female flesh).
So I'm a straightforward sort of chap really and I will take no disrespect or cheek or insubordination from people, although I am willing to have a good argument and discussion with someone who doesn't agree with me as long as they are respectful and polite, and don't get lippy.
You will probably wonder why a public-school and Oxford-educated ex-Sergeant-Major is writing poetry! Well, I liked English at school and liked poetry specially. Although it is nearly 50 years ago now, I remember that a couple of lads pulled my leg because I was always spouting poetry but they soon found out it was a bad idea to call me a pansy when I smashed them in the face with a large brick. I nearly got the sack from school on account of that, but the Headmaster saw my point of view, as he was an ardent wielder of the cane, and loved to give working class shits a damned good arse-walloping within an inch of their unwashed lives.
Most of my poetry is about my extensive worldwide travels and the terrible tragedies which have befallen my family and many mistresses and other tarts. I try to add a touch of humour to the re-telling of these events as there's no point in getting depressed - there's lots more fish in the sea, anyway.
If you think any of that is true you must be a bit gullible - it's just a pack of lies and pompous drivel - in actual fact I am incredibly upper class and I never went near the bloody army - in my opinion the only good soldier is a dead soldier.
I served in the British Army for nearly forty years and rose to be a Regimental Sergeant-Major and I got a VC too for my staggering cruelty to foreigners. I liked the Army life and think that all young men should be obliged to do National Service as it will make a man of them and it teaches them a bit about brutality and how to damage people terminally; or they might get killed, I suppose. I made some great friends in the Army, but a lot got of them got massacred, but that's life.
After leaving the Army I opened a greengrocer's shop in Gosforth, specialising in potatoes, giant cucumbers and lettuce; but I am now semi-retired with a 7 hectare vegetable patch and I enjoy getting drunk and watching horror films on TV; I also enjoy the porn channels, especially if they are on FreeSat and in HD so I can see what's what. Sometimes the images are so clear I can see what girls had for breakfast peeping out.
I am definitely a Conservative with a capital C (that's C as in Cunt), even though most Tory leaders nowadays are half way to being mental defectives. I don't mind our new partners the Liberal Democrats helping keep the Reds out, but they need to keep their noses clean and know who is running the show around here. May I also say that bald Hague fellow is a total waste of space - I mean to say, sharing a room with some poof is simply not on! Also he looks like a mad homunculus.
Some stupid people have called me a fascist and even a Nazi (until I gave them a good old English black eye) because I don't want a load of illegal immigrants flooding in. If people come to this country to make a better life for themselves I dont mind really, but they have to work hard, and do the filthy low-paid jobs the British are too thick or lazy to do, thanks to the lefties running the educational system these days. Anyway, where would we be without Poles to serve in Tesco? So I am a liberal fascist, strictly speaking.
Talking about Muslims, that burkha thing is a pain in the arse. I really don't see why Arab women can't show their faces. A few of them are quite good looking and I like a pretty face on a woman, even when she's bending over the kitchen table to get eight inches of hot love from me.
I am NOT racist as some of my best friends in the Army were blacks and a braver bunch of men I never met; they were totally fearless, although not hugely bright. Because of some of the things I saw in the Army I do not believe in "God" - there can't be a god if he allows things like that to happen, especially the bits with machetes, power drills and steam hammers.
Although I am from an upper working class background I had a good education (thanks to a scholarship to public school and Oxford University, which is the best in the world - you can stuff Harvard and Yale where the sun don't shine) and I do not approve of people who write bad English. It is the best language in the world and you should be proud of it. In my day, boys had to sit an exam at age 11 (the 11+) and the clever ones went to a good grammar school and the thick and gormless ones went to a secondary school where you wouldn't learn much but at least there was a bit of strict discipline and they learned their place at the bottom rung of society, scraping out toilets or licking the streets clean.
I strongly approve of corporal punishment: 100 strokes of the birch on the bare arse can be quite refreshing. A bloody good flogging would teach troublemakers a lesson they wouldn't forget in a hurry and I'd be happy enough to dole one out, as I am quite handy with a cat o' nine tails. Also, a broken nose, some shattered teeth and a kick up the rear with a pointed shoe can provide a primer in manners to a yobbo.
In my opinion, Maggie Thatcher was the best Prime Minister the UK has ever had; even though she was only a woman, she was a damn sight better than most men. She taught the filthy communists in the trade unions a lesson and now the trade unions are up faeces (or poo-poos) Creek without a paddle and a jolly good job too!
I am strongly in favour of capital punishment for murderers, rapists, traitors and paedophiles (and I'd be keen on a nasty form of it for severe cases, something with boiling oil in it, or maybe the rack followed by hanging, drawing and quartering on TV). But you need to be sure the criminals are guilty as it would be terrible to hang an innocent man (or, even worse, even a moderately good-looking woman, as that would be a waste of good female flesh).
So I'm a straightforward sort of chap really and I will take no disrespect or cheek or insubordination from people, although I am willing to have a good argument and discussion with someone who doesn't agree with me as long as they are respectful and polite, and don't get lippy.
You will probably wonder why a public-school and Oxford-educated ex-Sergeant-Major is writing poetry! Well, I liked English at school and liked poetry specially. Although it is nearly 50 years ago now, I remember that a couple of lads pulled my leg because I was always spouting poetry but they soon found out it was a bad idea to call me a pansy when I smashed them in the face with a large brick. I nearly got the sack from school on account of that, but the Headmaster saw my point of view, as he was an ardent wielder of the cane, and loved to give working class shits a damned good arse-walloping within an inch of their unwashed lives.
Most of my poetry is about my extensive worldwide travels and the terrible tragedies which have befallen my family and many mistresses and other tarts. I try to add a touch of humour to the re-telling of these events as there's no point in getting depressed - there's lots more fish in the sea, anyway.
If you think any of that is true you must be a bit gullible - it's just a pack of lies and pompous drivel - in actual fact I am incredibly upper class and I never went near the bloody army - in my opinion the only good soldier is a dead soldier.
AND SO: UP YOURS & RULE BRITANNIA!
