Post by Barry Hodges on Sept 25, 2010 12:16:25 GMT
MEMORIES OF DARLINGTON (#61 in my tragic travel series)
Few people know that Darlington in the County Palatine is a gem,
A fabulous mecca for those who love hedonistic glamour,
World class public houses and a railway engine made of bricks
(and with an exotic although hard to find Pakistani red light district).
But there is another, more savage, side to this glorious borough:
Believe me, I know, I was there eighty-two months ago (approximately)
And I have endured its tawdry violence to the very uttermost.
I was on holiday in this tourist mecca, in a sophisticated mall,
Gazing with admiration at the imposing Clinton Cards shop,
With only a dwarf-like hunchbacked female friend for company
(we were resting between love-bouts at the Blackwell Grange)
When a group of stunted long-unemployed Durham miners
Staggered drunkenly out of the Dolphin Leisure Centre
And decided a spot of rape and pillage was "on the cards".
As I wisely ran off down the vomit-strewn pedestrianised street,
They grabbed poor Thomasina and gave her a savage seeing to,
One after the other, occasionally two at a time, rhythmically.
Oh how I trembled with righteous rage as I watched detachedly,
Safely ensconced in McDonald's front window with a sexy new pick-up.
May I suggest that eager readers should take their holidays elsewhere?
Few people know that Darlington in the County Palatine is a gem,
A fabulous mecca for those who love hedonistic glamour,
World class public houses and a railway engine made of bricks
(and with an exotic although hard to find Pakistani red light district).
But there is another, more savage, side to this glorious borough:
Believe me, I know, I was there eighty-two months ago (approximately)
And I have endured its tawdry violence to the very uttermost.
I was on holiday in this tourist mecca, in a sophisticated mall,
Gazing with admiration at the imposing Clinton Cards shop,
With only a dwarf-like hunchbacked female friend for company
(we were resting between love-bouts at the Blackwell Grange)
When a group of stunted long-unemployed Durham miners
Staggered drunkenly out of the Dolphin Leisure Centre
And decided a spot of rape and pillage was "on the cards".
As I wisely ran off down the vomit-strewn pedestrianised street,
They grabbed poor Thomasina and gave her a savage seeing to,
One after the other, occasionally two at a time, rhythmically.
Oh how I trembled with righteous rage as I watched detachedly,
Safely ensconced in McDonald's front window with a sexy new pick-up.
May I suggest that eager readers should take their holidays elsewhere?
