|
|
Post by Edward R. Lamington on Sept 25, 2010 10:37:40 GMT
As I kneel upon my knees
Looking up at Thy Cross of wood
I pray that you will make me
Truly kind and sinfree and good.
I try to keep myself free from evil
And exclude all thoughts impure
But I know that if I fall into sin
There is only one single cure.
You will strike me down rightfully
And I will be sent to suffer in Hell
And there will I endure a loss of grace
Until the judgement knell.
Ding Dong!
|
|
|
|
Post by Edward R. Lamington on Sept 25, 2010 10:38:28 GMT
I think it's the "Ding Dong" at the end which make this poem nice.
|
|
|
|
Post by Count Orlok on Sept 25, 2010 23:31:26 GMT
Bollocks to you.
|
|
|
|
Post by Edna Sweetlove on Sept 28, 2010 0:08:03 GMT
Sickening. Keep on posting as I always enjoy a good laugh.
|
|
|
|
Post by Edward R. Lamington on Oct 1, 2010 19:55:47 GMT
There is nothing to laugh at on the Cross.
|
|
|
|
Post by montez on Feb 7, 2011 8:55:09 GMT
Dear Ted,
Were your ancestors from Lamington Spa?
I would drop the "and" in line 4 - "Truly kind, sin-free and good" to better flow.
Similarly, I would omit "myself" in the 5th line.
The 10th I would change to "I'll be sent to suffer in hell".
Sorry, but can't get out of the habit of critiquing the allpoetry way!
Regards,
Robin Pedant.
PS Oh, yes, and I thought the poem was a bit weak.
|
|
|
|
Post by Barry Hodges on Feb 7, 2011 13:09:51 GMT
Weak? You thought it was WEAK?
I've seen stronger things in the gusset of my Y-fronts.
|
|
|
|
Post by lordcedricsmythe on Feb 7, 2011 16:50:37 GMT
Ding dong and tickety-boo are two of my favourite phrases. I'm off down to the parish church to give thanks for being me!
|
|
|
|
Post by montez on Feb 7, 2011 19:14:47 GMT
If I were YOU, my Lord, I wud ov changed my name by deedpoll to Sue, an' committed Sueicide!
Rubens.
|
|
