I am disgusted!!!!!

[warhead]

Can I light up your night with a ***********, or a Roman numeral called, legs eleven, with glass fibre optics for a wig?

Can I play with toy trains as big as a real one, and get my collection of military two pence’s squashed on the track?

Can I drape seasoned clotted cream over my wife’s ***********, so she smells alive?

Can I initiate a back drop with skeletal muscle and call it, drum skin a plenty back at my house?

Can I drive a car backwards, and steer with my rear, because I can’t find a brown leather steering wheel cover like my granddad, because he was one?

If yes to all these, I’m in.

[Edna Sweetlove]

What a lovely piece of writing! I feel sure you will be a welcome to our site!

[warhead]

I like it hear, I fitt, like a vampire in a vat of hallowed water, with a twist of bitter Cof E.

Drunk at mo. Where's that cardboard bloke? He's funny, funny until I read his crap story. He's funny enough to step aside, though he does need to scrub it, or forsake credability.

[Edna Sweetlove]

Cardboard is good. I think he's dead though.