Three Scottish Clerihews

[spamheid]

When Robert Burns
Was having yin o' his turns
He became a farmer
And shagged Jean Armour.

Sir Walter Scott
Made many bawbees, an awfy lot
And when he was feeling bored
He spent them on Abbotsford.

Robert the Bruce
Wore his chain mail rather loose
And (this may come as a shock)
He had a very wee cock.

[Stanley Brown]

This is filthy rubbish. You should be ashamed of yourself. Why not use your God-given talent to write something uplifting like I do. Thankyou. Stanley.

[spamheid]

Aye, Stan, I'm fair ashamed o' masel' If I had talent like yours I wouldnae be here. I'd probably be in a locked ward.

[Edna Sweetlove]

make love roughly OFF STANLEY> THIS IS YOUR LAST FUCKING WARNING.

[Count Orlok]

I hear that Stan kicked the bucket. In fact I know it as I drained his odorous corpse last week.