Post by montez on Feb 7, 2011 0:30:27 GMT
The Rural Contest
While driving in Wales down a quiet country lane
I soon chanced upon quite a nice large demesne
And stuck in the garden - a ruddy great sign
"CONTEST FOR COCKS, to start half past nine"!
I looked at my watch, it was just after eight
I thought "Oo, goody gumdrops, I thought I'd be late"
For being well-hung, I've got some reputation
Not just in Yorkshire, but throughout the nation.
Stuck in the garden was a massive marquee
I assumed that was where all the judges would be
And there by a table were 3 blokes like sentries
Officious-looking, and taking the entries.
I said, "Excuse me sir", to the one in the centre,
"How much is it, for each cock to enter?"
He gave me a look I'd describe as disdain
And said, "How many cocks and what is your name?"
I thought he was daft but I said, "Just the one,
And Robin's the name, like the small bird old son,"
He said, "SON? That's an irregularity
PLEASE, less of the familiarity!"
I then proceeded, as fast as I was able
To whip out my cock and slap it on t' table
I said, "What do you think, get out your measure
You see why I'm famous for giving girls pleasure?"
The judges reeled back in a bad state of shock
I thought it was simply the size of my cock
Then one of them shouted, "Oh quickly, Denise,
Please telephone for the local police!"
Ten minutes later, I'd been arrested
And driven to court through traffic congested
Where the Magistrate lady said to the copper
"What's this lad done that you say's so improper?"
"Ma'am, this lad 'ere, wot stands in the dock
At a poultry contest, pulled out his cock
The ladies there felt villified and tainted
One collapsed, and two others fainted!"
The magistrate then looked me up and down
On her face there appeared an ominous frown
She said, "Lad, I've sent folk to prison for less
If I let you off, can I have your address?"
Now let me declare that, between me and you
The whole of this story is perfectly true
The actual place in Wales was the Rhonda
Where I showed the Welsh girls my huge anaconda!
However, forgive me for being so crass
But I'm quite pissed off with the magistrate lass
I now take viagra to make my cock harder
To satisfy her nymphomanic ardour!
While driving in Wales down a quiet country lane
I soon chanced upon quite a nice large demesne
And stuck in the garden - a ruddy great sign
"CONTEST FOR COCKS, to start half past nine"!
I looked at my watch, it was just after eight
I thought "Oo, goody gumdrops, I thought I'd be late"
For being well-hung, I've got some reputation
Not just in Yorkshire, but throughout the nation.
Stuck in the garden was a massive marquee
I assumed that was where all the judges would be
And there by a table were 3 blokes like sentries
Officious-looking, and taking the entries.
I said, "Excuse me sir", to the one in the centre,
"How much is it, for each cock to enter?"
He gave me a look I'd describe as disdain
And said, "How many cocks and what is your name?"
I thought he was daft but I said, "Just the one,
And Robin's the name, like the small bird old son,"
He said, "SON? That's an irregularity
PLEASE, less of the familiarity!"
I then proceeded, as fast as I was able
To whip out my cock and slap it on t' table
I said, "What do you think, get out your measure
You see why I'm famous for giving girls pleasure?"
The judges reeled back in a bad state of shock
I thought it was simply the size of my cock
Then one of them shouted, "Oh quickly, Denise,
Please telephone for the local police!"
Ten minutes later, I'd been arrested
And driven to court through traffic congested
Where the Magistrate lady said to the copper
"What's this lad done that you say's so improper?"
"Ma'am, this lad 'ere, wot stands in the dock
At a poultry contest, pulled out his cock
The ladies there felt villified and tainted
One collapsed, and two others fainted!"
The magistrate then looked me up and down
On her face there appeared an ominous frown
She said, "Lad, I've sent folk to prison for less
If I let you off, can I have your address?"
Now let me declare that, between me and you
The whole of this story is perfectly true
The actual place in Wales was the Rhonda
Where I showed the Welsh girls my huge anaconda!
However, forgive me for being so crass
But I'm quite pissed off with the magistrate lass
I now take viagra to make my cock harder
To satisfy her nymphomanic ardour!
