Post by montez on Feb 7, 2011 0:22:02 GMT
The Amorous Slug.
I'm very fat and slimy, and slow to move along,
Thankfully I do not smell - no whiff or nasty pong,
I've got two small antennae sticking out of my head,
Which make me quite uncomfortable when I retire to bed.
I eat all sorts of rubbish left hanging around,
But prefer the little shoots that pop up out of the ground,
Salt is something that I hate which gardeners put down,
I feel so flipping angry that I really sulk and frown.
I'd like to be nocturnal but I'm frightened of the dark,
And when a dog encounters me - all he does is bark,
But the things I hate the most are nasty magpies and crows,
Because they want to gobble me from head to little toes.
I've got 500 children which resemble little bugs,
But pretty soon, by eating lots, they'll be big ugly slugs,
A beauty contest's not for me, I'm like a pile of snot,
But thankfully I'm happy with the looks that I have got.
I met a female slug today and fell head over heels,
Well actually we don't have heels, we're more like slimy eels,
I slimed myself beside her and then gave a little cough,
And slimily she said to me, "Fatty, just make love roughly off!"
Not put off so easily, I said, "Oi, listen 'ere,
Why not slime along with me, I'll whisper in yer ear,"
I'm quite a natty chat-up boy, and should have writ a book,
But she said rather earnestly, "Oi, slimy, sling yer 'ook!"
Undauntered I just slimed along, and rounding a big stone,
I came across a pretty snail, eating all alone,
"Gorgeous", I just stammered, "Can I come inside your shell?"
She said, "Fatty, just slime along, make love roughly off and go to hell!"
I tried a lovely centipede but she just ran away,
I thought that I'd be sexless all the long and boring day,
Then I came across a female toad, gave her a buttercup,
make love roughly me the bitch just grabbed me and then slowly ate me up!
I'm very fat and slimy, and slow to move along,
Thankfully I do not smell - no whiff or nasty pong,
I've got two small antennae sticking out of my head,
Which make me quite uncomfortable when I retire to bed.
I eat all sorts of rubbish left hanging around,
But prefer the little shoots that pop up out of the ground,
Salt is something that I hate which gardeners put down,
I feel so flipping angry that I really sulk and frown.
I'd like to be nocturnal but I'm frightened of the dark,
And when a dog encounters me - all he does is bark,
But the things I hate the most are nasty magpies and crows,
Because they want to gobble me from head to little toes.
I've got 500 children which resemble little bugs,
But pretty soon, by eating lots, they'll be big ugly slugs,
A beauty contest's not for me, I'm like a pile of snot,
But thankfully I'm happy with the looks that I have got.
I met a female slug today and fell head over heels,
Well actually we don't have heels, we're more like slimy eels,
I slimed myself beside her and then gave a little cough,
And slimily she said to me, "Fatty, just make love roughly off!"
Not put off so easily, I said, "Oi, listen 'ere,
Why not slime along with me, I'll whisper in yer ear,"
I'm quite a natty chat-up boy, and should have writ a book,
But she said rather earnestly, "Oi, slimy, sling yer 'ook!"
Undauntered I just slimed along, and rounding a big stone,
I came across a pretty snail, eating all alone,
"Gorgeous", I just stammered, "Can I come inside your shell?"
She said, "Fatty, just slime along, make love roughly off and go to hell!"
I tried a lovely centipede but she just ran away,
I thought that I'd be sexless all the long and boring day,
Then I came across a female toad, gave her a buttercup,
make love roughly me the bitch just grabbed me and then slowly ate me up!
