Post by montez on Feb 7, 2011 0:09:59 GMT
On The Pull.
There is nothing I like better than to just go out and get 'er,
Chat to her and fill her full of bull,
I'm mindful of the fashion and I'm bursting out with passion,
Quite frankly lads, I like being on the pull!
I like girls with tiny dresses and with long and flowing tresses,
I like girls who swagger up and down the street,
I like bottoms all-a-wiggle and it makes me want to giggle,
I like girls with little tiny dainty feet.
The other day I saw a lady whose name was Eileen Grady,
Being cheeky I said, "Can I give you one?"
She looked me up and down and on her face there came a frown,
Within seconds she had turned her back and gone!
Undaunted I met Mary, whose underarms are hairy,
Going up to her, I gave a little cough,
I said, "I know you'll think this silly, but would you feel my willy,
She said, "Robin lad, why don't you just make love roughly off!"
I am not one as gives in, and so I sidled up to Lynn,
Who's got the biggest tits you've ever seen,
Through her bra you see the nipple - when she laughs they start to ripple,
But she spurned me too - don't you think that's mean?
Now I'm getting rather worried, and so to the pub I hurried,
Where drinking on her own was lovely Jill,
On her feet she wore some Kickers, I could almost see her knickers,
But she turned me down - she wasn't on the pill!
In desperation I sought Jenny who had gone to spend a penny,
When returning on my face I forced a smile,
I said, "Jen, would you be willing, if I gave you twenty shillings"?
Pretty quickly she had run a bloody mile!
Then as a last resort, I sought a girl who was a sport,
Ann's not pretty but she's very keen to please,
It wasn't long that I'd departed coz her period had started,
It was then I thought I'd go and see Louise.
She sees it as her duty to maintain promiscuity,
(I know it doesn't rhyme but I don't care!)
She said, "Rob, you won't be pleased," an' I just fell down on my knees,
"I'm staying in to wash my bloody hair!"
By now it's getting late, it's nearly half past ruddy eight,
When suddenly I thought of lovely Joan,
I know that I'm a louse, but I went straight round to her house,
On holiday? I just let out a groan!
You might think of it as malice but I went to see Slack Alice,
She has a mattress strapped onto her back,
She's certainly not christian and she looks like Sonny Liston,
But she'd taken her old mare out for a hack.
I couldn't think of what to do and so I went to see old Sue,
Frankly, she is NOT a pretty sight,
Her hair is rather sparse and she's got such a HUGE fat arse,
Bugger me, another lad was there that night!
Then I took some drastic action, I don't care about attraction,
I went driving down the road in Whalley Range,
There the tarts all wear red lipstick - and by gum I felt a dipstick,
But I picked the one that looked a little strange.
I was hooked up good and proper coz she was a plain-clothes copper,
Being imprisoned is really never very c**te,
So the moral of this poem (because now I must be going),
Though desperate - never use a prostitute!
There is nothing I like better than to just go out and get 'er,
Chat to her and fill her full of bull,
I'm mindful of the fashion and I'm bursting out with passion,
Quite frankly lads, I like being on the pull!
I like girls with tiny dresses and with long and flowing tresses,
I like girls who swagger up and down the street,
I like bottoms all-a-wiggle and it makes me want to giggle,
I like girls with little tiny dainty feet.
The other day I saw a lady whose name was Eileen Grady,
Being cheeky I said, "Can I give you one?"
She looked me up and down and on her face there came a frown,
Within seconds she had turned her back and gone!
Undaunted I met Mary, whose underarms are hairy,
Going up to her, I gave a little cough,
I said, "I know you'll think this silly, but would you feel my willy,
She said, "Robin lad, why don't you just make love roughly off!"
I am not one as gives in, and so I sidled up to Lynn,
Who's got the biggest tits you've ever seen,
Through her bra you see the nipple - when she laughs they start to ripple,
But she spurned me too - don't you think that's mean?
Now I'm getting rather worried, and so to the pub I hurried,
Where drinking on her own was lovely Jill,
On her feet she wore some Kickers, I could almost see her knickers,
But she turned me down - she wasn't on the pill!
In desperation I sought Jenny who had gone to spend a penny,
When returning on my face I forced a smile,
I said, "Jen, would you be willing, if I gave you twenty shillings"?
Pretty quickly she had run a bloody mile!
Then as a last resort, I sought a girl who was a sport,
Ann's not pretty but she's very keen to please,
It wasn't long that I'd departed coz her period had started,
It was then I thought I'd go and see Louise.
She sees it as her duty to maintain promiscuity,
(I know it doesn't rhyme but I don't care!)
She said, "Rob, you won't be pleased," an' I just fell down on my knees,
"I'm staying in to wash my bloody hair!"
By now it's getting late, it's nearly half past ruddy eight,
When suddenly I thought of lovely Joan,
I know that I'm a louse, but I went straight round to her house,
On holiday? I just let out a groan!
You might think of it as malice but I went to see Slack Alice,
She has a mattress strapped onto her back,
She's certainly not christian and she looks like Sonny Liston,
But she'd taken her old mare out for a hack.
I couldn't think of what to do and so I went to see old Sue,
Frankly, she is NOT a pretty sight,
Her hair is rather sparse and she's got such a HUGE fat arse,
Bugger me, another lad was there that night!
Then I took some drastic action, I don't care about attraction,
I went driving down the road in Whalley Range,
There the tarts all wear red lipstick - and by gum I felt a dipstick,
But I picked the one that looked a little strange.
I was hooked up good and proper coz she was a plain-clothes copper,
Being imprisoned is really never very c**te,
So the moral of this poem (because now I must be going),
Though desperate - never use a prostitute!
