Post by montez on Feb 6, 2011 5:23:56 GMT
How to stop wanking!
Of all the subjects I could choose
I know this is distasteful
But frankly I like to enthuse
Of things folk find disgraceful
I specialise in wobbly bits
And other things uncanny
Cocks and bollocks, big fat tits
And even my wife's fanny
I'm a man of vast experience
I've been around a bit
And therefore as a consequence
I write of urine and faeces (or poo-poos)
Still, I'd better not digress
I was in corporate banking
(I only wrote that to impress)
So let's get back to wanking
Wanking is a subject that
Quite frankly is taboo
Often done by other twats
(But never me and you)
To all young lads in puberty
I'll proffer this advice
What follows now is crudity
Honestly - not nice
Schoolies wearing shortish skirts
Going home, eating snickers
Prancing falsely, being flirts
(They've got dirty knickers)
The younger sister of your pal
Obsessed, infatuating
Remember that this little gal
Could well be menstruating
And what of your mate's mother?
(Thoughts of shagging her loom large)
Listen lads, don't bother
Her fanny has discharge
And if you are the 'other way'
Remember where you're putting 'it'
Please don't think of being gay
It's there for passing faeces (or poo-poos)
And if you think of wedded bliss
For make love roughly's sake, don't do that
What seems a carefree sexy miss
Will turn into a twat
So all you lads out there, don't hide
(Even priests and bankers)
Drink hot tea laced with bromide
Then you won't be person who plays with himselfs!
Of all the subjects I could choose
I know this is distasteful
But frankly I like to enthuse
Of things folk find disgraceful
I specialise in wobbly bits
And other things uncanny
Cocks and bollocks, big fat tits
And even my wife's fanny
I'm a man of vast experience
I've been around a bit
And therefore as a consequence
I write of urine and faeces (or poo-poos)
Still, I'd better not digress
I was in corporate banking
(I only wrote that to impress)
So let's get back to wanking
Wanking is a subject that
Quite frankly is taboo
Often done by other twats
(But never me and you)
To all young lads in puberty
I'll proffer this advice
What follows now is crudity
Honestly - not nice
Schoolies wearing shortish skirts
Going home, eating snickers
Prancing falsely, being flirts
(They've got dirty knickers)
The younger sister of your pal
Obsessed, infatuating
Remember that this little gal
Could well be menstruating
And what of your mate's mother?
(Thoughts of shagging her loom large)
Listen lads, don't bother
Her fanny has discharge
And if you are the 'other way'
Remember where you're putting 'it'
Please don't think of being gay
It's there for passing faeces (or poo-poos)
And if you think of wedded bliss
For make love roughly's sake, don't do that
What seems a carefree sexy miss
Will turn into a twat
So all you lads out there, don't hide
(Even priests and bankers)
Drink hot tea laced with bromide
Then you won't be person who plays with himselfs!
