Post by johnny nobody on Jan 14, 2011 17:20:39 GMT
It was a winter's day when we met;
birds froze on the trees and fell off silently;
and I trotted along the path
next to the artificially heated lake
where the giant alligators lived;
and my poor little heart went
"BOOM-TIDDY-BOOM-TIDDY-BOOM"
with eager anticipation
of my new hot nympho date.
We had been texting and chatting
for such a very long time
that I was drained of sperm
from the emotional stress involved;
and she had sent me a picture of herself
(I actually found out later
it was actually her grand-daughter)
and these slightly blurred open-legs shots
had whetted my appetite
somewhat.
I sat by the photogenic lake
where we had agreed to meet;
I was three hours early just in case;
and I was a little nervous which led me to
kick a couple of passing poodles to death,
when they unwisely sniffed my crotch.
And then! And then! My potential mistress materialised -
to say she hadn’t been honest about her physical disabilities
is a misnomer utter and 200% irritating,
as I wasn't really expecting
a cripple in a motorised hamper
older than Methusalah's mummy,
propelled by a 4 horse-power diesel engine.
O! The perils of internet dating
~I think I have mentioned them before~
but this time, they came home to roost
with a total fucking vengeance,
as we strolled through the park
(well, I strolled but she rolled along
a little bumpily on her trolley);
then I decided to c**t my losses and
(after having filleted her handbag for her Social Security details)
pushed her gently into the alligator pond,
checking both ways that no one was stickybeaking;
she didn't last long as the 'gators were peckish,
it being winter and so on, like.
I must find a new website;
frankly speaking, if I must be honest,
www.spazzolovers.com is a total flop.
