Weetabix

[spamheid]

I have never liked Weetabix
It seems to be made of minced up pricks
In milk it becomes a disgusting pap
Which sticks to your teeth and tastes like crap.

I bought Oatibix the other day
Hoping that it would be OK
But it's just as bad as the other stuff
I think they should shove it up their chough.
Alternatively:
I think they should shove it up their sheuch (see note below)

My advice is eat what you know
Maybe the odd wee Cheerio
Don't buy these newfangled healthy cereals
As they may be composed of phallic materials.

[Edna Sweetlove]

I enjoyed this. I always spelled chuff, c-h-u-f-f. I always thought that c-h-o-u-g-h was a bird of some sort. I shall have to get my big dick out and look it up.
Even if I am correct I shall not smite you, because you have brought joy to me by making me remember that magic word "chuff/chough".

[spamheid]

My Chambers dictionary has chuff as a surly, boorish fellow and chough as a bird. So maybe we should e-mail them to put in an entry for chuff/chough as the arse. In my concise Scots dictionary, there is a word sheuch which means a furrow, trench or ditch. Although the dictionary doesn't say so, they used to use sheuch when I lived up North to mean the arsehole - thus they would say "shove it up yer sheuch". So perhaps that was the word I was thinking of, my thoughts wandering back to my childhood. Also, sheuch has the additional benefit of being alliterative - so perhaps I should add it to the pome.

[Edna Sweetlove]

Add it and damn the rest. D'ye ken what ah'm saying, the noo, ye fecking radge?

[Pierre]

Is this part of a cereal poem?

[spamheid]

Oui.

[Edna Sweetlove]

I fear we have a homonym loose amongst us.

[Baron von Rimjobski]

In France Weetabix is called Oui-tabeeks.
It is unknown in Poland as the texture is too reminiscent of faeces (or poo-poos).