A Clerihew Cycle: The Road to Sainthood is Hard

[Engelbert Humpalot]

I

St Augustine sat there grinning
Reflecting on all his sinning
(he'd asked God to make him good
but God preferred him to be rude).

II

St Catherine on her whizzing wheel
Was asked, "Kate, just how do you feel?"
But before her answer could be spoken,
Another of her fucking limbs got broken.

III

Old St Francis of Assisi's
Trousers were all stained with faeces;
The silly old fart often forgot,
Post-faeces (or poo-poos), to disinfect his bot.

IV

St Joan of Arc gave a plaintive shout,
"Won't some fucker put these flames out?"
But no one heard her tragic call
And she got roasted, cunt and all.

Attachments:

[spamheid]

I vaguely remember reading these before. But they are still awfy good. And extremely tasteful into the bargain. By the way, wouldn't Joan of Arc have shouted in French? Just a small point.

[Edna Sweetlove]

St Joan was bilingual, I believe. Possibly bisexual as well. In any case if she had screamed out"Est-ce que c'est possible qu' un seul entre vous cent fouteurs calmer ces flammes s'il vous plait?"her English murderers wouldn't have understood. In any case, she still got frazzled.

[spamheid]

Aye, the path to sainthood is hard indeed. Sacre bleu.

[cardboardlover]

i enjoyed reading this as i once had a cardboard box which had a picture of st francis of assisi on it and reading this poem reminded me of it - i must say i would very much like to get a carboard box with other pictures of saints on it so if you have any ideas where i could get them please send me a personal message.