Potty Mouth

[I-Love-My-Midget]

She landed in the bowl with a splash, or a splat
Head first, I am trying to push it out of my mind
I have picked her some flowers
Tulips and white roses
She says they are her favourite
Honestly, I hope she can forgive me
I guess I should lay off the gin
That or at least wait until after
Seven o'clock when I have toileted her
Hands aren't so shaky when sober
It isn’t easy holding a one-limbed midget
Tightly above the lavatory as
She dangles there straining
Hard as she tries to poo
I hope she likes these flowers
They are supposed to be her favourite
She must know that I tried
Hard to catch her, but
Instead she span
To land head first
Screaming, but I pulled her out in seconds
Her scream had been c**t short
I thought it was a cigar in her mouth but
Then she bit down and
Spluttered as she bit it
Hard in half, it was then
I saw the sweet corn in her
Teeth. I really hope she likes these flowers

[Barry Hodges]

A charming little narrative. Welcome to EPS!

[Fraser Allonby Q.C.]

Bloody funny. However, be more careful in future when washing your midget as Health and Safety regulations could land you with a filthy great fine. Even a spell in the clink.

[Edna Sweetlove]

We look forward to more midget tales.

[spamheid]

A beautifully moving poem. My condolences to midgets everywhere.

[Jesus Speaks]

I laughed till I fell off my crucifix.

[I-Love-My-Midget]

Thank you all for your kind comments. My midget has now gone up to see the Great-Midget-In-The-Sky. It was the turdlog which done it.