A Rather Larger Scottish Limerick

[spamheid]

A randy old Scot named McTavish
Went out looking for lassies to ravish
He wrapped up his cock
In a red tartan sock
And a fine purple ribbon, quite lavish.

He hid in the thick purple heather
But a swift sudden change in the weather
Caused his sporran to freeze
And adhere to his knees
Like a cold, soapy, wet chamois leather.

He thought that some warm embrocation
Would spur him to more fornication
But some hot Fiery Jack
Got lodged up his crack
And caused him severe aggravation.

[Edna Sweetlove]

Some imaginative rhyming here! Although embrocation/aggravation is pushing the boat oot.

[Stanley Brown]

Many of my friends are Scotch but none is such a pervert as you. You should wash your mouth out with carbolic. Thankyou. Stanley.

[spamheid]

Although I usually drink paint stripper or meths, a mouthful of carbolic won't go amiss. It'll help tae wash doon the haggis and steak pie!

[Edna Sweetlove]

I shall have to deal with oor Stan.