Thoughts from a Pirate Ship

[eva beaver]

Oh see all the pirates,
Captains and messmates,
They're all as ugly as Hell;
And they're all proud that
They're twisted and fat;
And blessed with a god-awful smell.

Pegleg Percy is there
When it's cold he's still bare
For, sadly, he's losing his wits;
And all that remains
Of his once mighty brains
Is a mania for groping whores' tits.

His sister's called Crusty
She's busty and lusty
And she'll shag seven men for a tenner;
So her cunt ne'er gets rusty
(Believe me, me trusty)
She'll shag 'em again after dinner.

The skipper's a charmer,
(His Dad was a farmer,
Transported for shagging his sheep);
God bless our dear skipper
He's mad as a kipper,
And comes twice a night in his sleep.

From frigates to luggers
All pirates are buggers
With filthy sexual urges to fulfil;
They use bits of lumber
And a giant cucumber
When horny and needing a thrill.

My tale, I'll now spoil it
By describing the toilet:
It is really a fucking disgrace;
The strength of the stench
Would make the dead blench,
With pirate faeces (or poo-poos) all over the place.

[spamheid]

I have always found pirates to be polite and courteous. Obviously you are associating with the wrong sort of pirate.

[Barry Hodges]

I have never met a pirate myself, apart from pirate minicab drivers and pirate plumbers - or are they cowboys, I get so confused.

[montez]

On a seriarse note, I'm not a fan of the limerick, and this is a bunch of them thrown together, and not very well written (IMHO).
Rhymes and half-rhymes are forced, and the flow's lacking (again IMO).
I reckon this warrants the age-old school report comment "could have done better".
However, being new to the site, it's nice to read someone at least TRYING to rhyme - I've read some God-awful freeversebollocks so far!
Regards,
R, Sole.