My friend Hiram

[David Grease]

My trusted friend
...companion
...soul mate
...fellow patriot

Your friendship
...so simple
...so beautiful
...so awesome

It truly was
...meaningful
...unending
...interminable

But now…
God in his wisddom
has called you home
to his embrace...

And...
in your sad absence
I now have the second
smallest penis
in the neighborhood.

Fare thee well
...my smallcocked friend
...fare thee well.

Heal quickly, my brother.

[spamheid]

This moved me to tears. I trust that Hiram will find peace. In Heaven, everyone gets the size of cock they want.

[Barry Hodges]

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

[rikkimezis]

Everyone? !!!!

[Mrs Ophelia Mulholland]

I hate to repeat an old saw but it's not what you've got, it's how you use it. Now, having said that, a big one and some cocksman skill, now that IS a double whammy. I'm still waiting.

[westcuntry]

poor sod

[Edna Sweetlove]

I believe that for sodomy a big one is not always an advantage.
Here's a poem I just tossed off:-

A big dick can cause a torn sphincter
Calling on the need for a tincture
To soothe with its calming balm
And to repair grievous anal harm.

[spamheid]

Some extra strength Anusol
Will make the dick seem small,
While some Fiery Jack
Right up one's crack
Will make one holler and squall.

[Edna Sweetlove]

This is in bad taste.

[rikkimezis]

Surely you don't lick it?? Do you??

[Rabbi Sammy Schtupp]

This is anti semitic. Hiram is a Jewish name. I know several nice men called Hiram and NONE OF THEM HAS A SMALL PENIS. Don't ask me how I know.

[David Grease]

I gotta tell you Im getting REAL pissed off with you smart assed LIMY BASTARDS laughing at me! We saved your unwashed asses in two world wars and the only reason why your not talking German or Japo right now as we speak is cause we saved your rotten asses. So learn some f*ckin respect.

[spamheid]

Shove it up yer sheuch, ye yammerin' sclyster!

[Edna Sweetlove]

I must check out "sheuch" and "sclyster". Are they Yiddish or Gaelic? God knows.

I can find neither via Google. Please elucidate.

[cardboardlover]

i was disappointed that there was no cardboard involved - your friend hiram could have placed his penis inside a toilet roll and this would have made it seem larger - i know several people who do this.

[spamheid]

Scheuch - see following link:

www.stooryduster.co.uk/Pages/sheuch.htm

sclyster - also spelt slaister, slester or slyster - a slovenly, dirty person, a slut - as a verb to work awkwardly or make a mess, also used to mean mess, mud, rubbish.

www.scotsindependent.org/features/scots/slaister.htm

[cardboardlover]

I look up these and enjoyed them - please tell me if there you know of any good Scottish cardboard terms.

[ladeezman]

If you askin me this is load of old crapola.

[binklebonkle]

Very interesting.