The Ten Lepers - A Biblical Story & Song

[biblejohn]

Ten men with leprosy came across Jesus one day.
Jesus wasn't concerned or worried by this happening,
despite the fact that leprosy was a terribly contagious disease.
He knew that leprosy was a horrible illness
that people only contracted if they disobeyed God.
Miriam, the sister of Moses, contracted leprosy
because she was vain enough to say
that God should speak through her as He did
through her brother,what a silly cow she was.
It should also be recalled that Uzziah, the King,
got leprosy because he turned his back on God.

Anyway, the ten lepers called out to Jesus,
"Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!"
For they knew that Jesus had the power to heal.
Jesus told them to go show themselves to the priest,
which was what lepers who claimed to be healed
had to do to be allowed back into normal society.
And then a truly wonderful thing happened!
The men were all clean and their skin free from leprosy.

Then one of the ten men returned to Jesus
and thanked Him copiously, praising God as he did.
This man was a Samaritan, the only foreigner out of the ten men.
"Where are the other nine men?" asked Jesus.
"They have not come back to thank you."
answered the Samaritan with a shake of his head..
"What a bunch of ungrateful cunts!" Jesus said.

The Song of the Ten Lepers
[to the tune: "Faith of Our Fathers"]

Verse 1:
Ten men with leprosy met the Lord.
After coming across Him they called,
"Please Jesus Master have pity on us."
They were outcasts with no choice.

Chorus:
"Go show yourselves unto the priest."
And as they went they all were cleansed.

Verse 2:
Joyfully ten men ran down the road.
Just one returned, thanks to be heard
Fell at His feet and thanked Him there.
Then Jesus uttered these words,

Chorus:
"Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?
What a bunch of ungrateful cunts...
Still, while you are down there,
Show me how grateful you are."

Attachments:

[Pastor Peter Grovell, D.D.]

I am unconvinced that Our Lord ever said those words, even though he must have been sore tried by their ungratitude. God will have punished them for the sins, of that I am sure. And HE WILL PUNISH YOU IF YOU KEEP ON USING SEXWORDS!

[biblejohn]

Bollocks to you, Pastor Grovell. It's poetic licence, innit?

[Chintee]

Truly a song I'd be caught singing if stuck in a church.

[Stanley Brown]

This is a disgrace. Why do people not understand that poetry is about beauty, nature and love and not mocking things. I would ban you from this and every other site if I was a moderator here. But that pervert Sweetlove probably loves the filth you spew out. Thankyou. Stanley.

[Barry Hodges]

Truly a fantastic piece of writing. I smiled so much my piles burst.

[biblejohn]

I'm only adding this so as to bring the item up to the top of the reading list.

[spamheid]

Jesus loves me, ah ken fine
He taught me to smoke Woodbine
If he caught me smoking Players
He would make me say ma prayers.

[Edna Sweetlove]

"Jesus loves me, ah ken fine
He taught me to smoke Woodbine
If he caught me smoking Players
He would make me say ma prayers. "

That is startling. Rhyming players and prayers is only possible north of the borrrrrrrderrrrrrr.