Poem From Deepest Hell.

[Count Orlok]

I am a bloodthirsty bat;
Vampirism is where I'm at;

I hover over the ground
Without making too much sound.

Please kindly take careful note:
Or I'll slit your throat

And hungrily drink your blood
(it's my favourite liquid food).

In your pants you'll keek
You weak stupid human freak;

When severing your jugular vein
You'll shriek in cataclysmic pain.

I''ll give you a lobotomy
Followed by some staggering sodomy.

I'm a really wicked vampyr
And with cruelty all afire;

So, tremble in dreadful fear
Orlok the bat is here,

Offering your very last chance
to disinfect your underpants.

[Edna Sweetlove]

A lovely poem, Orlok. You are my fave vampire.

[Barry Hodges]

I shall dedicate my next vampire poem to you, your Countship.

[lardydar]

I take it the reader is expected to extend the pronunciation of blooooooood in order to rhyme. Or is it one of those posh poems that toffs write wot isn't meant to?

[Count Orlok]

I am back with a vengeance so watch out, puny humans.